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Interpersonal communications

Chapter 7 explores interpersonal relationships. In characteristics of interpersonal communication, I learnt how to differentiate an interpersonal relationship from other relationships. In interpersonal relationships, personal information is exchanged and the relationship is irreplaceable meaning that the person you share something with cannot be replaced by any other person. Interpersonal relationship is also two way, it involves one person listening to the other person who is bearing their heart and feelings out. This subtopic also explores if interpersonal communication can effectively be carried out online. Some of the advantages of online communication are that a person may think before saying ugly words. Others include instant rewarding with likes, advantages to shy people and bringing together people who are continents apart.

Choosing relational partners was eye opening. The saying ‘every dog has a friend’ proved to be true in scenarios where people are attracted to each other by looks and similarities. The attraction based on differences that complement each other is also true because any other differences drive people apart. The people we choose to relate with are also likely to be chosen on the basis of how often we see them. This may explain why long distant relationships don’t last. Relational partners are people we admire for what they can do; people that appreciate us and people that are easy to talk to about any topic on earth concerning personal perception. People generally tend to drift towards nice people, people who balance out their abilities instead of people who appear to have it all together.

Interpersonal relationship types include friendship which is categorised according to sexes, obligation, distance, value and age. Family is another interrelationship characterised by siblings and parents, grandparents and grandchildren. Romantic relationships are another kind of interpersonal relationship characterised by communication and the sex of the people involved. Relationships with a man and a woman require more effort at communication because while men are more physical, women are emotional. Romance is also characterised by the language of love which is different for different people. Some people respond better to affirming words. Women generally will want to hear ‘I love you’ more times than men. Other forms of love language include physical touch, gifts, helping out with the chores and spending time with loved ones. People appreciate love differently understanding how a partner communicates love help the other partner to understand what is appreciated and do it for them.Interpersonal communications

Interpersonal relationships especially romantic ones are best described by Knapp’s stages. Knapp’s stages helped me know when a relationship is crumbling and when it is on a good path. This way I know when to communicate to salvage a dying relationship. I learnt that self-disclosure depends on how deep one is willing to share with another person. I also learnt that it is not a necessary effort as some people may not appreciate it while others take it for granted or find it awkward. Only very deep relationships appreciate self-disclosure. In dialectical perspectives, denial is the worst way to solve tensions. Dialectical perspectives taught me that relationships are always changing. Understanding the dialect of the other person helps solve problems. Lies and evasions can help relationships for the better if they are preserving the other person from hurt. Some lies however are meant to deceive the other party, which is selfish.

The readings will change the way I communicate in interpersonal relationships. In my family, I will strive to use affirmative language and give gifts to people who value them on their important days. I will self-disclose to the people that matter and not be closed off completely like I usually am. From dialectical tensions I learnt that I am not always right and I should investigate what the other person is saying before denying it too early. I will listen more to others during conversations and respect their point of view. I will also use online communication to my advantage when connecting with new friends. I intend to be nicer to people compared to acting like I know it all which is boring to other people. I will now choose new friends with more hindsight information as looks and appearance are not everything.Interpersonal communications

The video by Jenna on ‘What you don’t know about marriage’ showed the language of love. For example, the husbands that helped with house chores or the couples that are more physically intimate lasted longer. The video the science of attraction showed that people are attracted to a certain obvious characteristics. The fact that Mr A, who was acting with the help of research, did better than the other two means that it is true people like some particular things. It is also true that people can make themselves more attractive. The video ‘half a million secrets’ showed that people are reluctant about self-disclosure but do so when they are comfortable with the person they are sharing it with. The speaker for example got to have many secrets that people had never shared with the people in their lives but shared with a stranger because they were more comfortable with them. The video ‘3 types of digital lies’ showed that the internet is making people a little bit more honest because what they write is recorded for future reference.

The videos and the readings relate to my life as a student by the way I form relationships. While it is impossible to have many interpersonal relationships, concepts like types of lies tell show me that lying can both be positive and negative. Telling softer lies to other students means I hurt them less. The language of love like affirming words help my professional life in establishing proper friendships. The concept of attractiveness also means that I can express myself differently so that I am more agreeable to fellow students. I will communicate to the female students differently than the male students because I now know that they listen differently and communicate differently as well. Female friends appreciate emotional aspects while male friends appreciate competition.Interpersonal communications