Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison



Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison


This research paper aims at exploring one of the major current trends on the dating scene in the form of dating men while they are still in prison. This trend, which stands out among the most prevalent trends on the online dating scene has been notable for the significant manner in which it has managed to attract considerable debate in both the social science and the mainstream circles. This paper will identify and analyze the arguments of the opponents and the proponents. The opponents of the argument indicate that women should not engage in the dating of prisoners since they run the risk of falling prey to the emotional and psychological manipulation tactics that have become common among prisoners. The support for the argument emanates from the premise that the women that desire and engage in relationships with inmates are competent enough to choose the relationships they deem good for their wellbeing. This paper will seek to add to the debate by exploring the varying rhetorical devices governing the different premises of the proponent and opponent argument.

Keywords: Prison, Inmates dating.

Summary of Main Points Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison

The trend of dating inmates has been a part of the dating scene for a long time. However, recent eras have seen the trend escalate to immense proportions with the rise of the internet. During the previous eras, those that engaged in the practice of dating inmates were highly reliant on snail mail, which is slow in comparison with the internet. In the current era, the combination of the telephone and the internet has eased the process of communication, thus ensuring the significant rise of the trend (Bindel, 2011). This rise of this trend is notable in the continued popularity and usage of websites such as,, and among many others. The rise of these websites testifies to the notion that the process of connecting with potential suitors in prisons has become considerably easy. Prison authorities continue to have the final word regarding the materials or correspondence that reach prisoners with the general rule is that everything must go through a screening process.

The violent and criminal incidents involving the women that have dated inmates represent the most significant evidence in the arguments against this trend. For instance, the notion that the large majority of the inmates exhibit varying levels of criminality should be a red flag for the women with the desire to date inmates. Some of the inmates are career criminals with histories of extreme violence and brutality, “which makes such relationships considerably dangerous especially for the women” (Bindel, 2011). In two cases that ended tragically for the women involved, both inmates “were career criminals with a history of brutality.” (Birch, 2016) On the other hand, other arguments indicate that the inmates are undergoing a process of rehabilitation, which implies that their predisposition leans more towards seeking better relationships that can improve their situations. This argument highlights that such relationships may be worth the risks for both the inmates and the women in ideal situations.


Premise #1: Against Dating Inmates. Dating an Inmate is Extremely Risky Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison

This argument gains considerable weight from some of the heinous and violent incidents involving inmates and the women that have opted to date them. The incidents highlight that the risks involving in dating an inmate with a clear history of engagement in criminal and violent activities are too significant for the women to ignore. The inmates have the expertise and experience they can utilize to get around the policies created to prevent them from engaging in misconduct (Bell, 2016). At the same time, the women that fall prey to the manipulative tactics of the inmates have a lessened likelihood of regarding such policies, which increases their risk of encountering un-rehabilitated violent criminals that can harm them.

Premise #1: Against Dating Inmates. The Relationships are Normal Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison

This argument indicates that relationships between inmates and women on the outside are not as extreme as portrayed by the society and the media, which thrives on sensationalizing issues. This argument draws considerable weight from a large number of well-meaning descent women who find the relationships with inmates fulfilling. For the large majority of these women, their inmate lovers spend a large majority of their time engaged in activities that promote intellectual and physical wellbeing (Hoh, 2017). The most widely cited activities in this context are physical exercise, writing poetry and letters, as well as communicating with loved ones through the telephone. As opposed to the violent stereotypes portrayed in the media, the inmates that have potential or actual romantic relationships with women on the outside are more attentive and compliant than they would be if they were living outside of the prison system. These relationships tend to retain the intoxicating features that characterize all romantic relationships. Additionally, the large number of relationships between inmates and women on the outside, which have worked out effectively prove that they tend to meet the expectations of companionship for those involved.

Rhetorical Device 1: Stereotype Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison

Both arguments are notable for the use stereotypes, which represent the cultural ideas and belief regarding the attributes of the social groups involved (Birch, 2016). On the one hand, the argument of the opponents utilizes a few examples of the heinous and violent incidences committed against the women by their inmate lovers. The stereotype is particularly noteworthy in the notion that the argument utilizes these few examples to demonize all inmates as the worst lovers women can get. Notably, this argument ignores the huge number of relationships between inmates and free women, which have worked effectively for all involved. On the other hand, the argument of the proponents assumes that dating an inmate is devoid of any risk on the part of women. It assumes that every inmate is on the road to rehabilitation and recovery, which is simply untrue.

Rhetorical Device 2: Dysphemism

Both arguments are notable for the utilization of the rhetorical device of dysphemism. This rhetorical device represents the “use of phrases or words aimed at enhancing the negative effect on the audience” (Moore, & Parker 2017). At the same time, it seeks to limit the positive associations. The most significant example of this rhetorical device is in the opposing argument, which restricts its analysis of the issues to the most violent criminals that have abused the women they dated. The ignorance of the notion that some relationships between the two demonized groups have worked effectively seeks to maintain the focus of the audience on the negative aspects. In the argument of the proponents, the notion characterization of the relationships as normal seeks to highlight the positive aspects and avoid the negative elements.

Rhetorical Device 3: Innuendo Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison

The opposing side is particularly guilty of the utilization of innuendo in cementing its argument. The innuendo is notable in the notion that the argument assumes inmates as violent and prone to hurting their lovers, thus placing negative perceptions in the mind of the audience. The proponent side also utilizes innuendo by seeking to highlight that all inmates are normal and the relationships are somehow devoid of risks.

Negativity Bias

The negativity bias is evident in both arguments. The proponent argument seeks to justify itself by highlighting the violent incidents involving inmates and their lovers as normal. It refrains from the consideration of the risks involved especially for women. Additionally, considers dating inmates as safe as dating non-inmates, which is not necessarily true. The opposing argument utilizes the same few incidents to portray the trend of dating inmates as unsafe and disadvantageous for women.

Fallacy 1: Appeal to Emotion Essay on Dating men while they are Still in Prison

The portrayal of the relationships between inmates and women on the outside, which is notable in the opposing argument, seeks to appeal to the emotions of the audience. It achieves this objective by portraying inmates as inherently unstable and prone to hurting their lovers, thus evoking fear in the audience. At the same time, the ignorance of the notion that the relationships incorporate some significant risks for the women seeks to normalize the relationships in the emotions of the audience.

False Dilemma

The opposing argument portrays a violent or otherwise tragic end as the sole conclusion that can emerge from dating an inmate. Similarly, the proponent argument portrays a normally functioning relationship as the sole conclusion.

Appeal to the Public

The opposing argument portrays the relationships between inmates and free women as dangerous for women, thus appealing to the public to discourage them on a massive level. Similarly, the proponent argument seeks to portray the same relationships as normal, thus notifying and appealing to the public regarding the notion that they are normal.


















Bell, T. (2016). An Expert Reveals the Psychology Behind Women Who Love me Behind Bars. Retrieved From

Bindel, J. (2011). Women Beware Dating Men Behind Bars. Retrieved From

Birch, A. (2015). Manipulation: How Far Can it Go? Retrieved From.

Manipulation: How Far Can It Go?

Hoh, A. (2017). Forensic Psychologists Falling in Love with Prison Inmates is ‘Very Rare’, But How Does it Happen? Retrieved From

Moore, B & Parker, R. (2017). Critical Thinking (12th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.