group think

Why you cannot say “YES” to everything.

In our daily lives we are bound to find ourselves in a situation whereby our response as either “YES’       or “NO” is required. Sometimes it might be easy to give either response and one at such a situation may opt not to give a response at all or ask for some time to think over it promising to get back with a response. Whatever the response, however, it remains our own choice, which should be independent, and one should not be victimized for saying “No” or “Yes”.

Sometimes  one might feel trapped and feel such a strong urge to be agreeable forcing ourselves to say ‘Yes’ when in real sense we would have gone for “ No”. Do we have to please everyone? You all agree with me that we don’t need to. Independence of opinion is key. There is need to cultivate self-confidence within ourselves and dispel the fear of rejection that most at times drives us to lean so much on the “Yes” response. People may think negatively of you but at the end of the day, you will have stood your ground.

Why you cannot say “YES” to everything

Saying No does not portray you as a bad or mean person.

One may be persuaded to think that if they say yes, they will be seen as rude, mean, impolite or unkind. This is a distorted way of thinking, distorted beliefs that make it hard for us to say no. For us to be able to overcome this challenge, it’s important I shed some light on where they crop from. As you may agree with me, growing up as children you wouldn’t just say no! It was deemed as a gross misconduct. You would be viewed as impolite. Saying yes was the polite and likable thing to do. Saying no was a tall order.

We have since grown up and these childhood beliefs should be shed off. Since we are mature, we can tell the difference between right and wrong. Now we can make our own choices and no response should be off limit. Before saying yes, we can ask whether it is worth it.If not We cannot afford to enslave ourselves to these childhood beliefs for fear of humiliation or being disliked. We have to speak for what we stand for

Why you cannot say “YES” to everything

Need to safeguard your worth

There is need to know that you are valuable and you do not need to be toyed around with. There is absolutely no need to live your life because of other people’s approval as this puts you in a cage of sorts. You are never free. We cannot always say yes because we are valuable. Whenever you find yourself saying yes to merely seek other people’s approval, know that you are stooping to low. You are better than that. We need to have a high opinion of ourselves, as we are unique and valuable. Do you fear that by saying no you are making a mistake? If that is the case, you need to know that no one is perfect. Everyone has something that when they look back to, they will regret. Therefore, take control of your life, challenge yourself to say no when necessary and enjoy the freedom that comes with this.

 

 Why you cannot say “YES” to everything

How then.

I would like to share a few tips on how to accomplish this task of giving the response ‘yes’ or ‘No’ depending on what you stand for.

  • Practice makes perfect. In this case, pose yourself a scenario and practice saying no. With time, this gets you more comfortable with saying no. It’s something you can achieve individually or with a friend
  • Remember saying no may prevent regrets or remorse at a later date
  • For your no, it doesn’t have to be accompanied by all sorts of reasons
  • Remember you have self-worth to safe guard
  • Be straightforward in your response, don’t beat around the bush. e.g. ‘no, I can’t’

Once you learn to say no, you will come to realize that it is one of the best things you have done for yourself. You will feel more in control of your life and you will self-confident……………Why you cannot say “YES” to everything